NoOne could ever replace this friendship I LOVE YOU

She came into my life not knowing that we would become best friends.. What started as playing around on the internet, and laughing and having fun turned into much more.. She is my best friend.. Someone I trust 100% ..She is like a mother to my kids.. Shes the first person I turn to when Im having a bad day.. Shes like my sister.. I love her more than she could ever imagine..

Her family has opened their arms and invited my family and I into their lives, and it feels comfortable and so very right.. From parents and brothers to aunts and uncles , neices and nephews.. I can honestly say I feel as if we have developed an extended family.

I could not imagine a day without her in my life. She is so beautiful inside and out and has the sweetest and most purest heart, shes someone that makes me appreciate who I am as a Mother, as a person and as a friend. She challenges me to be better and to live each day to its fullest and never give up..

I look forward to growing old with this girl and having so many laughs and fun..

I love you Shannon Marie O'Neill

Thankyou for being a part of my life!

12yrs gone by........Yet it feels like yesterday......Im told I should be over it...Yet I still have dreams that wake me up in a horrible mood...Told I should look at it as a good thing that we are alive.. yet everyday feels as a nightmare with the pain...I feel as if I have aged 12 yrs yet that horrid day is so vivid and it feels if it truly happened yesterday...Nothing will ever be erased from my mind as I sat there helpless and looking at my baby and wondering why..

I wish that he never have any pain or never has to feel any sort of discomfort that will slow him down.. He is on a path that is flying high..And I may be in the corner pushing him and guiding him towards an awsome goal he has.. I wish I could be more for him.. Wish I was able to be more patient with him..I would sit all day and go to the end of the earth to be there for him.. no matter how bad I may feel..

I sometimes wondere if that day had never happened where would we be now.. How differnet would our lives be.. The say everything happens for a reason.. I dont fully understand.. and even after 12 yrs I dont understand as to the reason why it was I that this happened to.. Was it to make me stronger?? Wiser?? more in tune with my family and my loved ones..? I dont have the answers.. I look at this person in this picture and look at all the flaws I have and all the mistakes I have made.. and just wish things were alot easier..

Im hoping that I can find closure this year and heal myself from this pain.. Guess only time wil tell

Dec 9 2010

Belleville West Varsity Wrestling Dec 9 2010

Brent made varsity wrestling this year.

Its hard to look back many years ago when he struggled to win just one match. To get the confidence that he needed to go out there and win has been a tremendous challenge for him. I have never been so proud in my whole entire life as I am to see him go out there and use his moves and dominate kids.

Its been so difficult watching him cut weight, not being able to partake in some meals because he has to maintain 145. Tonight has been the hardest watching him not eat or drink a thing because hes 2 pounds over, and all I want to do as a mom is give him something. He has the drive and determination to do this. And with that attitude Brent is going to continue to do so well at this sport

A new year of t-ball... As much as I dislike t-ball.. Im actually deep down excited to see Braedy go out there and excell at a sport that he loves so very much. Hes been practicing so very much and has such a drive to get better.
Tonight he was so cute, he had gotten home from school, jumped into his baseball pants and jersey, threw on his hat and and was ready for action. Sad thing was that the weather has been so crappy that the fields were soaked and water logged.. So first game Canceled :( .. Wednesday is his second game, so hopefully things stay dry and the fields get dried so that he can get out there and play..

2010

Already May and baseball is beginning for the boys. Graduation is next week for Braedy and he will be leaving kindergarden.. Brent has had an awsome Freshman year, and has turned into such a handsome young man.. Been about a month and a half since my surgery and Im recovering for the most part pretty good.. Each day has been an experiece. Ready for the summer and all the excitement that comes with it!

Just another Thursday and a bit of wrestling

Little Bro at Big Brothers Meet.. Enjoying the matches

Captain going out and talking with the ump and the other captains

Brent checking in before his match letting them know that he was there

Brent getting ready to wrestle

Tonight Brent had a wrestling meet at school.. Millstadt won against Collinsville. I then had to get Braedy to Little Devils for practice at 6pm. He was practicing alot tonight becuase he has a tournement in Mt. Vernon Sunday. He has been doing awsome this past 2 wks at practice and really has come around and starting to listen to the coaches and having lots of fun.

Warming up before his practice

Ziggy(Braedy) wrestling with his buddy Dominic

Dom trying to pin Ziggy

Dom trying to get Ziggy on his back

Ziggy crawling out of the move

A face standing out in the crowd

Brent has made Captain of the Wrestling Team at school, and he has turned into a better athelete, and team player. He has been working so hard each night doing practice sometimes from 3;30 to 5;15 then doing another practice at the Devils from 7-8;30pm..

We went to Freshman orientation last night. He seemed to be a little overwhelmed at the HUGE school, but determined and already making goals.. He wants to try out for the football team this summer for highschol and hes already made plans to want to take a course over the summer to get started on his credits for highschool.

I know as the future comes this kid will do great things.

THE PRINCESS AND THE KILLER

~THE PRINCESS~

~THE KILLER~

WE HAVE 2 GREAT CATS.. BOTH CATS ARE SO OPPOSITE IN HOW THEY TREAT US. HANNAH GENERALLY IS JEFF AND BRENTS CAT SHE SEEMS TO REALLY LIKE THE ATTENTION FROM MEN BUT A LITTLE GOES ALONG WAY WITH HER. SHES TIMID AT TIMES AND SWEET FORTHE MOST PART. SHE SHY AND STAYS TO HERSELF MOST OF THE TIME. SHES NOT MUCH OF A TOY PLAYER BUT AT TIMES YOU WILL SEE HER BAPPING A TOY MOUSE AROUND OR PLAYING WITH A BALL. SHE ENJOYS HER HARD FOOD BUT SHE LOVES RECIEVING A CAN OF SOFT FOOD AS A SMALL TREAT AND WILL DO ALMOST ANYTHING FOR THAT CAN LOL. SHE TOLLERATES HYDE AND THATS THE NICEST WAY THAT I CAN PUT THAT. THEY REALLY ARENT BEST FRIENDS LOL.

HYDE IS THE 'CAT-DOG' OF THE FAMILY HES GOT THAT CAT QUALITY THAT MAKES HIM SO LOVABLE AND HES GOT THAT DOG QUALITY THAT REALLY IS SORTA NEAT TO WATCH HIM CHASE BRAEDY AROUND THE HOUSE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. HYDE LOVES HANNAH.. "LITARLLY" JUST ADORES HER.. HE TRIES VERY HARD TO SHOW HER ATTENTION EVERY DAY SHE JUST ISNT QUITE SO NICE TO HIM IN RETURN. HYDE LOVES CAT NIP, SMALL TOY MICE, BALLS AND HAMSTERS.. HAMSTERS YOU MAY ASK.. YES THE HAMSTERS THAT I HAD RECIEVED FOR VALENTINES DAY LAST YEAR WELL THEY HAVENT QUITE MADE IT TO SEE THIS VALENTINES DAY.. ABOUT 6MTHS AGO BB OUR SWEET LITTLE CHINESE DWARF HAMSTER WAS TAKEN TO RAINBOW BRIDGE TO LIVE WITH THE OTHER HAMSTERS.. WENDY FOLLOWED HER SISTER THIS PAST WEEKEND.. HOW DOES HYDE FALL INTO THIS.. WELL HYDE LOVED LOVED LOVED THOSE HAMSTERS SO MUCH.. HE WOULD ALWAYS SIT UP AT THE CAGE AND WATCH THEM SPIN AROUND IN THEIR WHEELS INSIDE THEIR CAGES.. WELL SOMEHOW THE HAMSTER MUST HAVE GOTTEN NOSEY AND WENT TO CLING ON THE BARS OF ITS CAGE AND THATS WHEN HYDE WANTED TO PLAY AND YANKED THEM BUTT FIRST FROM THEIR CAGE THROUGH THE BARS TO THE POINT ALL THAT WAS STUCK IN THE CAGE WAS THE HEAD WHILE THE BODY DANGLED.. IM DISGUSTED PERSONALLY OVER HIS ACTIONS AND HE WAS GROUNDED FOR AWHILE FOR WHAT HE DID.. "GROUNDED YOU MAY ASK HOW DOES ONE GROUND A CAT.. ?" WELL HYDE LOVES TO BE RUBBED AND PAID ATTENTION TO.. MAINLY BY MYSELF.. "HES MY CAT" LOL.. WE SINCE HAVE MADE UP AND HE REALLY ONLY WANTED TO PLAY WITH THEM NOT HURT THEM.. LOL..

SOOO.. OUR ANIMAL FAMILY IS DEPLETING IN SIZE BECAUSE OF HYDE.. NOW I HAVE TO WATCH HANNAH SHE HAS A FACINATION AT LOOKING THROUGH THE FISH TANK AT THE BETA.. LORDY LORDY..

Brothers

Brothers...... who would know that these 2 love each other so much and fight like little cats and dogs when no one is around lol.

Growing up I only had one sister no brothers and the age diffence wasnt as much as brent and brae .. I dont remember us fighting quite so much.. umm.. err.. except the time I rolled over her finger while roller skating lol.. I am sorry about that to this day.

2 best things god has ever given me!

My Life feels as if it has changed since January 16, 1999.. Something died that day and something was reborn in me. Each day I wake up and have thanked god for each special day he has given me. Not just for me but for my family.. The 2 best things in my life are my boys Brent and Braedy, without them I would not be who I am. I never really realized how much on could love a child until another one is placed in your heart, and that love grows even more. I have thought long and hard and it weighs on me, is our family complete? Could I have love for yet another child, a child that wouldnt be biologicaly mine? Ive always felt in my heart that I was going to have 3 children, and I long for a girl so badly, but honestly I think I would love a boy just as much. I suppose only time will tell upon this and something that God will help me decide when and if the time will come. Its coming upon 10 yrs since that dreadful day that my life and my precious Brents life was almost taken. Today I look upon a strong child, a child that nothing will let him down or get in his way. Theres been obsticals that have crossed our path, but Brent is such a strong young man and its so hard to believe my baby is 14 and starting Highschool in the fall. Let us not forget little britches.. Braedy is my miracle child, I was told that I probably would not be able to carry a child to full term because of the accident and all the damage that it had done to my insides and some of the outter parts. Looking back upon this we were so close to have gotten my tubes tied, but an illness set me back and we were going to let Jeff undergo that . tee hee.. But before we knew it my baby Wubbles was growing and surprised us all. Pregnancy was a hard one and lots of bedrest, and he even showed up a month early. Braedy is a true boy through and through and hes going to be such a character when he gets older

A couple of pictures of my two most favorite Boys in the world!

Christmas 2008

Another Christmas done and over. This year everything seems to have flown by in a blur the past 4mths since I had been diagnosed with cervical cancer and then I had my Hystorectomy on the 22nd of Dec. (SOO happy its over with )

Christmas Eve Morning the boys woke up to alot of presents and I was awoken and told to get myself out of bed that the fat man in red had shown up. Honestly I wasnt that enthrawled seeings everything down south region of my body hurts. But I got my blankey and made home on the loveseat with camera in hand. Both of the boys took turns opening presents and eyeing up what each other got. Both of the boys were really excited about the St. Louis covers that I got for each of their beds. I plan on redecorating both rooms this spring and painting and new window treatments with Cardinal stuff. Brent got alot of new clothes seeings that my young man keeps growing out of his clothes so fast lol. Later in the afternoon, I snapped a picture of Hannah she was all nestled under the Christmas tree and Braedy thought that was a hoot.

Christmas Eve night we went to my parents and had a really nice time there and Santa even paid the boys a visit. Braedy did a stare down on Santa and proceeded to try to tell him that it was pawpaw not Santa.. lol.. but he went along with it and took the pictures. We received so many neat things for Christmas and makes me feel so good that I have sucha great family that I was with.

Christmas Day we spent home all day Jeffs family came for a few hours and then left, and we didnt do a thing but lounge and relax. (seeings thats what Ive been told to do by the doctors lol)

We had a great Christmas even though I was down and out .it just really makes me appreciate what a great bunch of guys that I have in my life.. and what a great Mom and Wife that they make me feel as.

Soccer stud back in action

After much concideration, Braedy decided that he did want to go out and play soccer with his friends. He had a really good day and made 4 goals.

Little man has been sick this week and actually was feeling pretty good on this day.

Waiting for his turn to play

'

Luke enjoying the game

playing against each other

My Soccer Stud!